When I'm tired, feeling blue, stressed or in any way under par (and I'm not talking golf), I find my mind wandering to other people. Then I find myself comparing my life to theirs. And coming up short.
Recently I realised that I don't know what someone else's life looks like from the inside. (At 43 years old, you'd have thought I'd have figured that out sooner wouldn't you? I like to comfort myself with "slow but steady wins the race".) I can never really know someone elses's story. More importantly, I have my own story to write.
I'm Emma, in Emma's body. My energy is much better spent making my today amazing instead of speculating how someone else's today might look or feel, and then judging myself against the fantasy I have created of their life. When I think about it like that, it's pretty bonkers to measure myself against someone else. Much better to measure my today against my yesterday, and see if I managed to make my today more fun-filled, loving, happy and creative than my yesterday was.
Of course if all else fails a pack of the old ready salted never fails to do the trick. And there's always gin.
P.S. I'm a guest blogger at Wordshaker Magazine again today. If you like your men in sequins, then you'll probably enjoy my post.
Very true!!
ReplyDeleteI agree completely Emma, although sometimes it's hard to let go of the imaginary picture of someone else's (allegedly) better life that you have imagined for them. There are some lovely words in the Desiderata which ring true in this situation "...If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
ReplyDeletefor always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time...."
Thank you!! I am your age(plus9) and you have just made me realise that I do just that with so many people. I am going to write your words down and keep them and everytime I start to think that way again I shall re-read them. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of a truth that we have lost along the way in all our daily "dramas".Things that were clear and simple when I was a child have become muddied over the years so again,thank you for clearing the waters.Debby.x
ReplyDeleteWhat a gorgeous post!
ReplyDeleteI'm finding with my new understanding of CFS, letting go of negative thoughts - more specifically no longer running them over and over in our heads - is one of the most powerful roads to recovery.
ReplyDeleteAs for your post on Strictly, you'd fit in well with half our household. My daughter Meg is Strictly bonkers - she cannot get enough of it and when not watching DVDs of it, she's on YouTube watching everything she can about it. But every evening for It Takes 2, and expecially for the show on Saturdays, my daughter, my wife and my stepdaughter all get comfy on the sofa and would hesitate to move even if the house was burning down. My son, my stepson and I, however, find other parts of the house to occupy at these times...
That's so true, Emma. It's easy to be seduced by how other people's lives look on the outside, but experience has definitely taught me that the reality is often something different. And you are you, not them, so any comparison is surely invalid.
ReplyDeleteEasy to say, often difficult to do, but worth the effort! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So true. I'm always comparing my life to others, and thinking that mine's so not fair (it's true, to say the least as I do find it hard to make friends, find a boyfriend, move away, etc). I hope that with my book I can move on and do those things I've planned! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, thanks again for doing yet another guest post! We'd love it if you could do a post on Christmas! :)
Jules
http://andsuddenlyisee.blogspot.com
You know, I love your blog for posts like this, and now I find out you are a Strictly fan! The world is okay with me today, too. :o)
ReplyDeleteWell said. I might also point out that we all have different talents and it's not just to compare with others. Each one of us is uniquely different and that is what matters.
ReplyDeleteI love this today....thank you for sharing this today. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your kind and thoughtful comment on my blog. It made my day!
ReplyDeleteI'm guest posting on Wordshaker next week, and I'm nervous! I don't watch Strictly (more of an X Factor girl) I don't want to start in case it's another show I get addicted to ;)
Especially when we get frustrated these comparisons can come. I agree that we are the best work of art and fantasy to be working on :-}
ReplyDeleteHUGS and do come say hi.
Lorraine
Great post Emma, I agree with the sentiment (although it's hard to always remember it when jealousy strikes) and I love the old photos of you!
ReplyDelete