The irony hasn't escaped me that as soon as I let go of my friday series "Favourite Thing On A Friday", because I've not been able to post on a friday, I'm able to post on a friday...
What are the chances? Anyhoo.
I've been thinking this week about the picture I posted a short while ago "Bloom Where You Are Planted". And I got thinking about what stops us from blooming. I think we all want to be happy, fulfilled, blooming fabulous. What is it that stops us feeling that way?
I used to think that my happiness depended on external circumstances. So I spent a lot of time telling myself I'd be happier if... they stopped behaving that way, I achieved more, I were slimmer, I were wealthier, I were funnier... less sensitive? Most importantly for me, I told myself I would be happy if I were healthier. Not ill.
I was "shoulding" myself and other people.
Do you know what I mean?
I was judging myself harshly and telling myself I "should" be different than I was. And I was judging other people and thinking they "should" do things differently. And by differently, I meant the way I thought they should be doing things. I determined my internal happiness by what was going on in the world around me, what other people were doing or not doing, and what I thought other people might be thinking about me. Basically, I put my happiness in the hands of everybody else except myself.
And it felt miserable living that way.
Then, things changed dramatically, and most of the externals of my life as I had known them, fell away.
And I realised something that has changed the way I see myself and the world.
If I carried on waiting for life to stop being messy before I could feel happy, I was going to be fairly miserable for quite a long time.
I realised, my happiness is determined by what's on the inside not the outside. I can bloom no matter what's going on around me. I can choose to let my heart blossom right now. Just the way I am. It's not an easy thing to do but it is simple.
As I see it, there will always be something we find messy going on in our lives. There'll always be difficult things happening around us. There will often be downright painful things, that cause deep sadness and that feel overwhelming. But we don't have to let those things stop us from being amazing. Or even to let those things stop us long-term from being happy. We can choose to accept the uncomfortable, deeply challenging things of life, and open our hearts anyway. We can be brave and give ourselves permission to be fabulous, and let our hearts bloom. It's time.
