Grateful

Have you ever had one of those days/weeks/months where it feels like nothing seems to go smoothly? The harder you try, the more out of your control things feel?  And suddenly, you're feeling overwhelmed, upset, and frustrated?

I'm currently experiencing one of those right now. I've been feeling particularly s***e (that's a technical medical term) over the past wee while.  More than the usual pain, nausea, headaches, and so very, very little energy. And at the same time, a situation has arisen where, for the past week I've been trying to deal with some "life admin" that has required my attention.  It's also required me asking for some other people, as part of an organisation on the end of a telephone, to help me by dealing with stuff at their end. It is proving to be one of those situations where you feel like poking yourself in the eye and then hitting yourself with a spade would be a lot less painful...

This morning, I made further attempts to resolve the situation and found myself, yet again, feeling blocked and unheard by the people I have been asking to hear me.  The little energy I have today, diverted to a situation where it felt my energy was being wasted rather than put to good use.  Absorbed and dismissed by someone who doesn't understand how precious my energy is.

And I started to feel frustrated, upset, angry and completely overwhelmed.

I sat down and listened to the rain on the window.  I took some deep breaths. I contemplated getting the spade out of the shed.

And then I had some interesting thoughts...

What if I didn't get upset? What if I put my energy where I wanted it to go and thought about all the things in my life that are supporting me, running smoothly, helping me on my way?  What if I stopped fighting how things are and let go of all my upset?

So, instead of chucking fuel onto my fire of frustration, I sat and wrote a short message of love and encouragement to someone I know needed it.   And then I made a list in my head of all the things in my life that are amazing, supportive and cheering me on. Then I had a cup of tea (tea really does have magical powers!), and I took another deep breath and breathed out all the junk.

Sometimes, things just don't go the way I hope, or want them to go.  Sometimes people just don't understand where I'm coming from.  Sometimes I need to use the little energy I have on things that don't make me smile or feel glittery, but I need to do it anyway. Sometimes I can find myself fighting life before I realise what I'm doing.

And even with all that going on, life is still amazing, and I am so very grateful for all of it.


Untitled

Sending love and smiles your way.

20 comments

  1. Lovely and I know exactly what you mean.

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  2. Oh Emma--what a wonderful post. I'm so happy you decided to use your energy to think of the positive instead of reaching for the spade! Hoping you get strength back, that the people on the other end of the line start listening, and that you never run out of tea! Hugs to you. ♥

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  3. can't believe you've written this post at this moment...

    I've realised that the intensity of the pain seems to depend on the degree of resistance you show towards what is happening, and that by letting things flow rather than trying to control events and people, energy is conserved on a GRAND scale, leaving you with a fresher, clearer mind, able to go where you wanted to be in the 1st place?

    Have I said that in a way that makes sense to anyone else 'cept me?

    Yes, cuppas are magical indeed!

    Lots of love
    xx

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  4. Hope the 'life admin' is soon sorted out - sounds very frustrating. Glad you managed to channel your energy into things that WILL have made a difference. I'd just suggest the addition of cake for even more magical, soothing powers! Take care.
    x

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  5. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I think this is a brave and inspirational post. Keep drinking the tea xx

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  6. Aww sending love and smiles too,a great thing to do Xxxx

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  7. You are amazing Emma. Well Done to you for taking control and diverting your energies away from the brick wall you were hitting, and being positive. I cant do that, I just fold and become pathetic.
    Take care, and carry on being strong, you are truly awesome and inspiring.
    Gill xx

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  8. Sorry Emma, I meant also to say how sorry I am that you are and have been in pain and discomfort - I hope that soon goes.
    Gill xx

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  9. Positivity is the way to go, Emma! Banish negative energy!!! Deep breathing and a cup of tea work their magic yet again!!! Well done you, too for thinking of someone else who could do with some positive vibes, I am sure they really appreciated your thoughtfulness. Keep smiling through, and know that all you readers are wishing you well. x

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  10. Sorry life has been crappy recently, everything bad is definitely magnified by ill-health, that's for sure. I hope you're feeling better soon. You always strike me as a very positive person. I like to allow myself a day or so to really wallow, and then I force myself back to positivity otherwise I can make myself ill. Scorpio trait I think!
    x

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  11. I am trying to feel sorry for myself and you are taking all the fun out of it.

    I am sending love and hoping that you feel better and those that need to listen will listen.

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  12. One of my favorite quotes,
    "where there is tea, there is hope."

    Glad the tea got you through!

    Thank you for this post. Needed it. ;)

    Love -
    another flier.
    xx

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  13. One of my favorite quotes is:
    "where there is tea, there is hope."

    So true!

    Glad your tea + your own determination got you through.

    Thank you for this post. Needed to hear it.

    Love,
    another flier.
    xx

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  14. And I'm sending them right back at you, double strength, because it sounds like you need them more than me right now.xx.

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  15. Emma, you are so inspiring. Love this..Nancy

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  16. Hi! :-)
    Thanks for sharing. This post struck a chord with me as the past few weeks have been tough too. I Loved the way you decided to change your attitude-not easy to do at all. I'm going to try and do the same and along with my cup of tea, watch Emmerdale which I always turn to for some weird reason when I am feeling stressed! I hope the rest of the week goes well for you.
    Sending hugs, x

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  17. "What if I stopped fighting how things are and let go of all my upset?"

    For the past year or so, I've been practicing meditation - it's always practice - I don't think we ever become experts ;)

    Anyway, the main thing is learning to become detached from the tyrrany of the conscious mind - learning that just because I have a thought, doesn't mean I have to hold on to it, persue it, try and resolve it or pour any energy into it. I can have a thought, observe it and release it.

    And each time I notice I'm being swept along by trying to resolve the thought that is taking up my energy, then I smile, acknowledge, release, and return to my breathing until the next time I realise I've been swept along by another thought - then I repeat the processes.

    The thoughts never stop crowding in and vying for attention, but meditation is really good for learning you don't have to obey them just because they leap into the mind. You can observe, release and let go.

    It's amazing just how much energy we can claw back by not pouring it into upset :)

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  18. As usual, what a beautiful creation! :)

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  19. i'm grateful to be alive
    too and
    send thanks for the bright inspire
    and grateful for the
    way your life speaks:)
    -Jennifer

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  20. Dear Emma,
    Thank you so much for sharing this!!!!! We *all* need to reminded of this...I certainly do. Sometimes, when I'm suffering I look around and make assumptions everyone else has it so easy...and other times when I find myself about to mentally judge someone, I think to myself....they may VERY WELL be going through something difficult...so have a little compassion and send some love!
    I'm so happy you shared not only your struggle (because we all get them)...but YOUR STRENGTH! Being grateful, being of service, bringing some glitter to the gloom!
    Thanks and Love,
    Daniela

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